How long for an avoidant to miss you reddit 126 votes, 94 comments. I'm anxious. to me, with people that aren't avoidant-dismissive, relating to them seems like it so all or nothing compared to how i prefer to relate to i have a fearful avoidant girlfriend. While you're at it and have felt more stable, you can check on them from time to time. I’ve seen some people say anywhere from a few days to a few months. If you want to reconcile after a lot of time has passed, you would have to be the one reaching out, but hopefully you realize your self-worth through reflection and rather invest your Therapy is so important for this. Please respect our space However, I suggest you lose that hope that your avoidant can come back so you can move on. If theyre avoidant: go no contact (min 3-6 months, 5 months for a dismissive avoidant approximately) DO NOT BREAK NO CONTACT BEFORE THEM (unless they are a dismissive avoidant then you’ll have to reach out) We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. "I can't give you want you need. I am queen of mixed signals. " TR: I'm terrified I will regret my choice to commit. They finally feel free of all the emotional burdens of being in a relationship and that lets them think back and romanticize about the good times you both had, knowing that they will not get those And, if she thinks she can get you back at any time, then there's no hurry or pressure for her to think she should question her choice to deactivate her feelings for you. Even if you think you find the answer to why he acted like he did or what happened, it won’t really satisfy you and it will take up time you could’ve spent getting on with your life. I don’t have any questions I just know Reddit/people in general can be very hostile towards avoidant people and I just wanted to say it’s not your fault, and not all the problems rely on you and you DO also deserve love <3 and there are plenty of people that still like dating/accepting avoidants If you’ve been involved with a dismissive avoidant for too long, there’s a high chance you’re trauma bonded and that is a challenge in itself to break. " TR: I'm not looking for anything serious with you. These are all either conscious or subconscious ways to sabotage deeper connection and keep emotional and physical distance. Avoidants & Anxious often question the decision to end the relationship. Personally, I think 2 months would be fine for me. Recently I read something about attachment styles, which made me curious, so I… Yes, but avoidants don’t try to deal with those issues. if you are anxious, you may perceive an avoidant as being toxic, so, for example, when he/she would send you a See full list on wikihow. Tell him you're working on yourself. truth is, they never know what they want, but they miss you so they’re gonna make it your problem even when they’re the one that left. stayed in touch with my ex who is diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder after the breakup. For those who do not have an avoidant attachment style looking for answers, there is a wealth of information for you available by keyword searching "FAQ. He is a horrible human being and I'm better off without him, but I still think about him daily. The door they let in from and you walked out of is now locked. Especially if we weren’t aware that you were an avoidant til after. Don't know how long you were togheter, but me and my ex lasted 3 years, and a lot of people i talked to said it took them a year, a year and a half to completely get over it. And I don't mean out of curiosity, validation or to friendzone you, but for genuine attempts at reconcilation. I'm male, in my late 30s, living in the LA area. The emotional roller coaster rides. we broke up in february 2021 and get back together in november 2023. My one wish for you - is that you take a quick pause - and study your anxious style a little. They are dangerous emotionally. com Mar 4, 2021 · One way to find out if an avoidant regrets ending things with you is when he still contacts you and refuses to leave you alone after the breakup. 31 votes, 60 comments. Once in a while they check in to see if you will answer. Im still healing but leaning more secure now. It’s not always the case that an avoidant doesn’t love you or care for you. Each time you don’t they are a little bit upset and whole lot glad. Take that hope and turn it into a possibility. But in that moment, you were projecting. Do dismissive avoidant personalities ever regret leaving you? Do they ever miss you? So mind boggling processing a break up… Anxious attached people are less likely to run back to a avoidant mainly because during no contact we start to realize how a the avoidant has drained us to where we finally let go and walk away. Usually they hit the nostalgic stage 3-6 months later but everybody is different. Reply reply Bubbly_Excuse8285 Also, most people go back to an ex or think about it just sometimes the dumpee waits too long and that person has moved on, if you love somebody and would like to have them back, be patient, go no contact right away, and don't say anything fucked up, don't ignore them just respond when they message you but make it simple, don't message them The avoidant I know said that she usually dates a person for a year before getting into a serious relationship. do not chase them, beg them, contact them. 5 months for the first signs of an ex missing you to surface, but navigating this period is like walking on a tightrope. I am 58 - been with the same girl for 40ish years. Sorry. when problems arise, be prepared to brush them under the rug, as to not overwhelm them. 4 months later, while dropping off some stuff at his brothers to maintain no contact, he ended up being there (he wasn't supposed to be). In your experience/opinion, does giving space to someone not loosen the connection even further? Say, an avoidant deactivates / pulls away, perhaps even due to outside stressors (working too much, money trouble, family trouble etc. Mar 21, 2022 · Heather, who I interviewed for close to 45 minutes readily admitted that she adopted our famous, “When they pull back, you pull back” Mantra in regards to her ex boyfriend and after an admittedly long period of time her ex ended up coming back citing that “she just got him. Nov 13, 2023 · How long does it take for an avoidant to miss you? It can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months for an avoidant to trust and miss you. They begin to get curious. Jan 9, 2025 · If you have an ex-partner with an avoidant attachment style and you want to learn about how to make an avoidant ex miss you, continue reading. 41 votes, 183 comments. I miss them like crazy. You can’t know. In being an avoidant or being in a relationship with one… 52 votes, 50 comments. Cherry on top he muted everyone I know so no one can see his stories( so weird to go from i miss you so much to let me hide my life from everyone you know in a week) He was very avoidant and now I’m wondering if he is going to reach out again. true. If someone isn't contacting you anymore, they don't miss you enough and their negative thoughts seem to outweigh the positive. I (m24) broke up with my ex (f21) 5 weeks ago. That one visual meetup started a whole deal of, "I miss you, take me back, you're the one, I won't ever find someone as good to me as you, you have everything I'm looking for" and I caved. I do not want to continue seeing one another. 28 votes, 55 comments. If I were you, I would first ask: "hey, do you have a minute, I'd like to say some things. Still you shouldn't really be worried of their feelings after the breakup especially if you're the dumpee. Would sending something like… A lot of the times, no offense, when someone dates avoidants… and they walk away and time passes we generally don’t miss you guys. 5 weeks of NC. My ex was extremely avoidant. When you miss her, miss the person you thought she was, and don’t attach that feeling to the toxic stranger who’s out there somewhere. It's so much harder to leave someone when you're a year and 6 months into the relationship than those first 2-3 months. That’s why they are called avoidants. 1) Even if they miss you, dismissive avoidant are too proud to reach out. Even after a few years of no contact you or they will still miss the other in some way. The do miss you/think about you but they try so hard to cover and avoid all those feelings. Showed a lot of potential in the beginning, but split… We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. They don’t miss you. i’m fine with that now, i waited for a long time but i’m done with that. My story is similar to many of yours. Ignore them, focus on you, build yourself. That's the advice they've given. I AP, micro-cheated on her, FA. Although they're known for pulling away when things get serious, specific changes might suggest they miss you and potentially regret their decision. Posted by u/purrrish - 49 votes and 31 comments You may have read or heard that 3 – 6 months is how long it takes for a dismissive avoidant to miss you and begin longing for you. Texts me, I can f*ck you all day, I miss you already. And that reaction could be anything from an assertive attempt to discuss the issue, anxiety, to tears you cannot hide. Long post. It's all okay to feel how you feel and to make mistakes, even the same mistakes sooo many times. Jan 13, 2023 · When it comes to the question of how long it takes for an avoidant to miss you, it’s important to understand the complexities involved. May 18, 2021 · An avoidant ex will only feel the liberty to miss you once they’re sure you’ve moved on and there are no leftover reciprocal feelings of romance. This is because avoidants tend to suppress their emotions and may not be aware of how much they miss you until they have had some time to process their feelings. 5 years with me, she lied about a lot of things, she hide things, she even seek for friend with benefit but i caught her Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. Please respect our space The next time someone tells you they’re avoidant — LEAVE. 113 votes, 71 comments. You cannot make someone unblock you, talk to you, hear you out, or love you. Sometimes we love shitty people, and it's okay to miss them, to want to call them, to want them back. (She tells me she doesn’t want a relationship right now) which I’m fine with, keep it casual no strings attached. ). As an FA, I know I played a big part in my first marriage demise by being the avoidant one in light of my partner being highly anxious. Learn to detach yourself, because you cannot make someone see your worth. Generally, it takes around 2. but nobody also knows. Jun 20, 2022 · According to Free To Attach,. but don’t let that make you wait for him. {Well that’s the DA approach(6mnths) } Or when out of no where they text that they miss you in a direct manner?{6wks-3m Fearful Avoidant style} or around a month later they apologize or start talking/flirting?{AP right thuuurrrr}. They are going to regret it and miss you until you have moved on. We work together but not closely. Jan 2, 2024 · When Your Avoidant Ex Wants You Back. Break ups are like ripping off a limb for me. "I'm not looking for anything serious. I've loved 3 women I'm my life and how it ended, why it ended was ALL my fault. “I’m scared you’re going to leave-abandon me so I’m going to abandon you first” this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Hopefully one day, you can really invest in a long term committed partnership if that is what you desire. They usually come back, but when they do, it's not because they learned and they're insightful, it's because you've been apart for long enough to understand they miss you, until one of you completely breaks the cycle. Please add a user flair with your attachment style, or comment with it and the mods will add it for you. *Prefacing this with saying that people with avoidant attachment (DA, FA) are loveable and worthy of care and I care a lot… Once you cut off an avoidant and they know you did. Learn their attachment style. That’s when it most likely hits that you are avoidant and you don’t want to be that way anymore. If you’ve been through a breakup with an avoidant, you know it can feel like they don’t even miss you. It's honest and useful. They are relieved. She’s not in your life anymore, she’s not the person you thought she was, and she’s toxic. I do think that you should fully let it go until then. You're not to blame, it's not your fault. The first is self-healing; confronting the traumas and pain that made us afraid of letting people in to begin with. I've seen lots of posts asking if avoidants feel guilty for breaking up. He said the same things. Honest truth about my marriage- it's healthy and secure, but I have major intimacy issues. "I'm scared of commitment. Worst case: they dont reach out and you're doing awesome Best case: you're doing awesome and they miss you, they reach out and they realise they missed out How can you literally replace your wife or long term girl friend of +5 years and carry on in a new relationship like nothings wrong?? Do monkey brannchers/rebounders even feel remorse ? 87 votes, 146 comments. 151 votes, 238 comments. I want to connect The hot and cold. i decided to chose me and went NC/ blocked out of the blue on everything on friday. That’s all there is to it. When it's good it's great. " Non-avoidant participation is limited and enforced. Let's say you say something like "Hey how's it going" at the end of No Contact and it goes well. I bet your ex will remember your good times fondly. We got back together for another 3 years before she left again under similar FA tendencies. if we truly never want to hear from your ass again we can just block your number. " TR: You seem like a nice person, but are way too needy. They are so happy. I doubt there was someone else. But recently we've had more interactions with eachother. Same timeline (7 months before they detached/got the ick after we had a fight about moving in together, I now know this because they were finally up front with me in a closure conversation) and then it went until 1. Trauma or not, at the end of the day these people are typical cowards. I hadn’t fully picked up on it first round but after another 6 mo. Anxious attached people are less likely to run back to a avoidant mainly because during no contact we start to realize how a the avoidant has drained us to where we finally let go and walk away. "oh you reacted to the latest truly horrible thing I did, your reaction is why I am leaving". And our unhealthy, avoidant partner just 'can't'. If you ever see someone with the traits Avoidents have, now you know through your experiences with yours how to spot one a mile away. Sometimes you have to learn how to let them go, to be able to move on for yourself. Hello, I already posted here so I decided to do so again. but in the case that they do, you might as well try. Your mentioning the "on off" switch of avoidant dumpers is spot-on. People come back or they don’t. believe me , they can get soo much more cruel. 87 votes, 174 comments. I told him to only reach out if he truely wants to make me a part of his life again. So I'm curious and have a question for the avoidants, How long does it usually take for you to be official, who initiated it, and what makes you want to be in one? He gave me the same bullshit breakup most avoidant people give ‘i can’t give you want you need’ ‘you deserve better’ ‘im not meant for a relationship’ ‘I’ve reached my breaking point and I can’t do this anymore’. I don't miss the silent treatments, stonewalling and ghosting cycles. Less pressure. (You also focus less on your relationship, giving them the space to miss you). Here's what to look out for: We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You just have to be a little more careful of giving people your heart, not everyone deserves it. In a long distance relationship they can afford to be extra enthusiastic. Got timelines from Thais Gibson. I read on the avoidant attachment subreddit that it's better to not contact an avoidant person for at least 6 months when you use no contact. They will cause you trauma and take time away from the person who’s secure or slightly anxious, who can show up in the relationship and meet your needs. ” Going from avoidant to secure takes 2 phases. You realize your relationships never really have depth or closeness so you want to 14 votes, 54 comments. Theyve already dettached and moved on. Wait for at least six months to contact them. I feel like I was the K in your story in my role in my last relationship so it’s been very helpful hearing how you describe it. You clearly miss someone, and if you want to reach out eventually that’s up to you. It's enough time to process some emotions and become adjusted to absence to the point you can also miss someone again. Take this time to level up and you’ll come out winning. it’s Good communication is key in healthy relationships. She takes me out for my birthday, spends $150 on brunch, gets me cheesecake which I love and there it is. Anxious vs Avoidant? If theyre anxious you should be able to talk to them no problem. and break the cycle they’ve been feeding into for so I hope I lightened your load a little bit. Oh but also to add on- if you want to marry a fearful avoidant you should make sure it's one who's open to self reflection. If the other person gives them space (meaning being okay with lower communication, less frequent meetings and/or less discussion), is it n We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. 56K subscribers in the attachment_theory community. It's crazy making, and difficult when you know you're doing everything 'right' and trying the best you can be. Let’s say they reached out to you after the breakup. But act like you don't care. The avoidant weirdo, will act like they have never met you, or were in a relationshit with you. If you want in 2 months to reach out to her, there And that is when they will realize what they lost and they will start to think about the relationship, miss you, and want you back. You really have to get to know yourself and what you want and then not give anyone your full time, attention or energy unless you can see if they have those qualities. You’re gone and developing into a better person (hopefully). TR: I don't want a relationship with you. This right here. Please respect our space They will miss you later on when they are not defensive anymore, but would refrain from reaching out by rationalizing why they can't be with you in their own way. 169 votes, 72 comments. You opted to express your devotion. I went through this & I tried to be understanding, gave space… but it was no longer meeting any of my needs. Work on your own self in this time away from each other. If you want him to regret losing you, then be your best self. They don’t care who they hurt. It’s not something that is typical for an avoidant, as he’ll most often use the no-contact rule and refuse to call or text you for a set period post-breakup. Please respect our space 84 votes, 55 comments. Please respect our space You start missing them from the moment no contact starts and when the relationship ended. Through our YouTube videos, articles, and podcasts, we know that most of our audience has an anxious personality type, and most of their exes have avoidant personality types. It's not healthy for you and it'll make you feel like you're never good enough. First of all, there is no credible scientific research to support the claim that dismissive avoidants process breakups at all or that there is such a thing as an avoidant breakup timeline. They just don’t have the capacity to maintain a relationship with you at that point in their life. Please take all of this with a grain of salt, as it's my opinion based on reading and listening to podcasts etc, but I am of the belief that if you were a good partner, rose tint lifted, and you had a solid, loving relationship long term (2 years+) then the above is a reasonable idea of the dumper/dumper experience with a fearful avoidant. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 2 votes and 6 comments If you see them (or just any attachment style in general) throwing up red flags like a clown juggles balls at a circus. Please review the sub rules and Avoidant Relationship Advice post prior to asking questions. Many people here on Reddit claim the dumper feels pain too, but I think some avoidants-especially if they have a disorganized attachment style (FA with tendency to use DA strategies to breakup- are able to deactivate and devalue as easily as flicking off a switch, then move on rather quickly, so they don't feel much if any But if you are trying to make a dismissive avoidant miss you and come back crawling, you should think really hard before you go no contact. But what they needed was to miss you and feel like the relationship was a choice - that it was optional, a home, and not hi, i’m basically you but 23 years old lol, have you found a way to tell if the ick feeling is is based on something real or not? i’ve been with my boyfriend a year and a half and i feel like i love him, but sometimes out of nowhere i feel like there’s something wrong i’ve been ignoring, i can’t tell which feeling i should follow avoidants need things on their terms only. I was one for a very long time. and this is before life gets tough no kids, struggle etc However, in case if they feel you are no longer available and you have moved on and no longer thinking of them, then you know you have achieved their worst nightmare! They will try to reach out and might even apologize out of the sudden, and they will try to reconcile even after 6 months! 80 votes, 152 comments. Avoidants will rarely return to a place or a person that represents pain, shame, guilt and broken dreams. the aftermath of the breakup was MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than the entire relationship itself. Spent 10yrs with a DA. Experience of being cutted off by an avoidant and being removed from her IG after 3 months from the blindside? Oh yeah, a ton Remember that it's a spectrum, so the time it's random. But I really like you. Or do you rather feel relief and move on "easily"? She came back 4 mo later and guess what she was still avoidant af. He might miss you. But I want to know is if they feel guilty or regret… Fearful avoidants are the ones who are most likely in unstable relationships. You can't really change his emotions, but you can keep healing yourself so that in time you won't be sad either. Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. Communication will always ebb and flow based on well, life. I can assure you, there’s no way that a D/FA doesn’t think about that other person. When an avoidant steps back, the instinct is to chase. It seems to be a common occurrence that thereafter a relationship dies out, DAs tend to miss that person, even if they weren’t so expressive of it during the relationship. Doubtful, don't hold your breath. You . I’m my opinion, based on tons of experience with dismissive avoidant, literally nothing you can do will get them to change. Posted by u/Coffee32 - 18 votes and 29 comments Nah, man, nothing wrong with you. Think long and hard if you really want a life or to waste your time with someone emotionally unavailable afraid of commitment etc. Respect his space and respect yourself. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. After no contact starts, for how long do they not care? How long until they think if it was the right decision to reject… 64 votes, 41 comments. That sucks but rarely do 2 people who break up feel as sad as eachother. Unfortunately some people don’t have perspective on the fact that not wanting 5 days straight exposure to someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them or aren’t compatible, it might just be how you are, and it’s ok to say you’re going to do something alone one afternoon while you’re on your trip/as long as your SO is comfortable with 198 votes, 129 comments. honestly sometimes they probably never want to be contacted again. So let that feeling go nowhere. And that takes longer than 3 months. This comment is going to come from a genuine place of trying to help. This is a post for non-avoidants to ask advice and input. If she had died, you would miss her, and that feeling would have nowhere to go. I’ve seen some comments in the AT subs being surprised to hear that FAs are in long-term relationships, or saying that relationships with avoidants usually end after the 3 month mark. Knowing my other avoidant ex, only just started therapy because he's finally tired of feeling alone / being left, I'm happy for him but told him, he can never come back in my life as he's too damaging. If you do that and they come back, great, if not, you are rock solid in your own company. 422 votes, 161 comments. The only thing that MIGHT make her miss you is if she feels she's lost you and it's safe to feel for you again. That’s not how you framed it and you didn’t deal with it in an avoidant way. the first broke up is because she still can’t get over her ex for almost 2. Right now, he is not that partner. They spy, they see, even if they dont reach out. there's no way you would know that, though. i have been with her for almost 3 years. Could be 6 weeks, could be 6 months, could be 6 years and could be never. What you needed was reassurance they weren't going anywhere. If your ex "discarded" you after you've been together for some time… Trying to offer it. You don't have to start up a relationship again instantly just let him know what you're going through and how you feel. They have to lose you completely, so don't contact them. You prob feel a sense of loyalty to someone you don’t even know as you might be projecting onto them what you think they are. he’s not worth it in the slightest. This was your only long term relationship, one that really changed you. You can’t just “not miss” someone that you truly loved, cared about and cherished. How long did it take your ex avoidant to reach out after a breakup/ NC? From what I have seen from many people it takes on average between 3-6 months, in some cases it did take more than a year. This was after being in contact for 4 months. Don't worry about what you "deserve" or don't deserve. You have plenty to work on without that drama. the person in question may actually miss you really much, and internalize that feeling. I’m sorry they weren’t at a place where they could be emotionally mature and committed to the relationship. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage It’ll help in the long-run when I find myself in future relationships. They say, "if you're asking when to break no contact and contact them?" their answer is "probably never. My avoidant partner broke up with me a month ago. And so, I want to tell you how I'm feeling. Took mine 6 years. 3 years until the breakup. You were hurting and you did the best you knew how at the time. 181 votes, 306 comments. I was with my ex fiance for 6 years and we had a child together. All the best. And I especially don't miss their circular arguments to justify it. It is possible that they will come back, but it is more possible that they won't. I think you can communicate your desire to work things out from scratch too, so that the expectations on them is low (and on yourself as well). How long did it take you to heal and move on from an avoidant who is in a serious relationship now? It’s ok. I grew up with a lot of self esteem issues, and my first few relationships were surprises to me because they challenged the notion that I could be loved at all. Focus rather on processing your own emotions, than winning her back. he left me blindsided and was very cruel the entire time. Just keep working on your healing and trust that in time you’ll feel better. we don’t know anything. 151 votes, 212 comments. Someone is always more sad, usually the person dumped. Set boundaries, so the next partner you come across is avaliable to meet your needs. If you have worked through that part of yourself then great. After 3 years on and off, my SO and I went to couples therapy where we established that I am anxious and they are avoidant… 63 votes, 37 comments. You deserve someone who doesn’t shut you out, makes time for you, communicates, and puts in the effort to be with you. Attachment Theory helps you understand how your relationship was with your… Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. when they come back, make it safe for them to come back, if you do want them back. And that's when she thinks or knows she has lost you. with saying all of that, he probably won’t contact you. You may feel as though they seek a lot of reassurance but they are typically better with long distance. took me a long time to realize he would never contact me again. Focus instead of keeping busy and taking care of yourself ️. What is there to miss really? Being in a relationship with an avoidant always just leads to feeling like walking on eggshells, withholding intimacy, running hot and cold, distant, aloof, the list goes on. One thing i learned is that if you gave them everything and they left without regards, they’re always gonna come back because you’ve been filling a void in them that they didn’t know existed. They avoid the issues. Then right after those times you thought you got a little closer and thought you were happy and everything was fine, they pulled out, they ran away. Stay strong! 29 votes, 74 comments. Currently going through a cancelled engagement with an AD. APs tend to be passive aggressive if you don't text or take space - HOWEVER FAs will just tell you how much they miss you. If you've noticed a shift in your avoidant ex's behavior, they might signal a desire to reconnect. They seem to give you more space. Take care and look after yourself : ) That doesn’t mean you can go weeks or months without seeing your partner (unless you’re long distance) you’re purposely avoiding connection. I think I'm anxious because I'm perceiving some distance here. The video is called 'How Avoidant People Create Relationship Collapse' by Dr. I want my husband to be affectionate but when he is I also will reject it without knowing why If he’s blocked you, I suggest you stop trying to reach out. 55 votes, 42 comments. I’m not a specialist, but I feel like attachment style problems kick in when there’s a threat of long-term attachment. " Then I would say something like: "I like you. If you said to your avoidant to leave you alone, i think you should be the one to reach out. Give them any opportunity and they will. Avoidants don't give a blue fuck about us. That’s the hard part about breakups. RUN, run while you aren't completely attached and before your self esteem gets dropped into an abyss. Learning about the meaning of attachment styles and how to make an avoidant ex miss you, along with 12 effective techniques to make that ex miss you, is necessary. Oct 11, 2021 · The protection stage is like stage 2 but on steroids. Maybe I've got it totally wrong, I'm not sure. To understand this fully, we need to unpack avoidant attachment styles. Then after they feel less overwhelmed, feel like they miss you, they come back. I have no doubt she did and does love you - but running away from their feelings is part of being avoidant. When you concentrate on activities you love and you develop a stronger sense of self outside of the relationship, you become MORE attractive to your partner and others. be okay with not planning a future together, as to not overwhelm them. You barely existed in their lives while in the relationship. You're spot on with some of these! I was an avoidant dumper, and let me tell you, it's a messy mix of feelings. At the end of November she said she was 100% done and I went into NC. As much as I wish things had been different, it’s very clear what my life would have been if we didn’t split. as a rule of thumb, there is a big "phantom ex" effect when it comes to the dissmissive avoidant. This is the window where they can miss you and you’ve got a legit chance at getting them back with a decent chance at starting things with a clean slate. No one has the “secret” of what you need to do so stop asking. . Lea Carter. Its pretty much done esp if they are DA. My ex reached out after 3. Its been 3 months, she apologized after 1 month. After a relationship ends, people with an avoidant attachment style tend not to show much anxiety or distress, often feeling an initial sense of relief at the relinquishing of obligations and the sense that they are regaining their self-identity, and not tending to initially miss their partner – this is “separation elation” as the pressure to connect is gone. Can't see it now but in the long term, we win. hntwk fakmjy xknmbll jhrjt pvcmh rnqcfd pbgn rnj xgmqxw nir